CHAPTER14

TOLERANCE ANDPARDON

Tolerance and Forbearance

People react differently tothemotivations and the occasions that generate feelings of sorrow and pain.

Some people are provoked byordinarythings, and they become unmindful of every thing and in haste take averyunwise step. But there are also such persons as pass through varioushardshipsand adversities and yet do not forget to behave with seriousness,wisely, withtolerance and good manners.

It is true that the originalnature of aman and his natural temperament playa very big part in a man’s beinghot-tempered or softhearted, serious or hasty, righteous or wicked. Butthereis a very deep relation between a man’s self-confidence and his solemnbehaviorwith others and in forgiving the errors of others. In reality, the moregoodmannered and perfect a big man is, in the same proportion his heartwill be bigand the circle of his tolerance and forbearance will be wide. He willtry tofind the extenuating circumstances for the errors of others and willaccepttheir apologies when offered. If anybody may attack him with theintention ofinjuring him, he will look at him as a philosopher looks at thechildrenplaying marbles on the roads, and will ignore him.

We have seen that anger makesa man mad.A man is disgraced in his own sight, when he feels that he has been puttogreat humiliation, and feels that this blot cannot be removed withoutsheddingblood.

Can a man who has high moralcharacter takesuch a step merely because he has to pass through sorrow and pain?Never. Thosewho indulge in inflicting insults on others are disgraced in their owneyesbefore insulting others.

This is what we understandfrom thetolerance and forbearance shown by Hud. He invited his nation to acceptthebelief of oneness of Allah. His nation greeted him with abuses, curses and accusations which he toleratedpeacefully.The people of his nation said:

“Indeed, we see you infoolishness,and surely, we deem you of the liars. He said.. ‘O my people!

There is no foolishness in me,but I am amessenger  from the Lord of the Worlds.I convey to you the message of my Lord and am for you a true adviser’.”,

(AI-A’raf..66-68)

The abusing and the curses ofthe Nationof Hud  did not provoke him, becausethere is a lot of difference  betweenthe two groups. On the one side is a man whom God has selected to beHisMessenger. He is a representative of goodness and righteousness. On theotherside are persons who are imbedded in ignorance and foolishness, andvying witheach other in worshipping stones. On account of their foolishness theythinkthat the stone idols are the masters of their destiny. How can a greatteacherbe disheartened by the misbehavior of such a flock ?.

How Allah’s Messenger imbibedthequalities of tolerance and forbearance to his companions can beunderstood fromthe following tradition, which shows the foolishness of an Arab and theloveand serenity of the Prophet.

It is reported that a Bedouincame to theProphet and asked for something, and the Prophet gave him something,and asked:”Did I treat you well 1″ The Bedouin replied: “No, you have nottreated me well.” Hearing this, the Muslims got angry and advancedtowardshim. The Prophet made a sign to stop them. Then he got up and went tohis houseand gave him some more gift, and again asked: “Did I treat you well?” He replied: “Yes, may Allah grant prosperity to your family.”The Prophet said to him: “Whatever you have said to me, is alright initsplace, but my companions are angry in regard to you, if you like youmay repeatbefore them whatever you have said to me so that the anger from theirheart maybe removed.” He said that it was agreeable to him. When the morningcame,he came again, and the Prophet pointed towards him and said: “On whatthisArab had said, I gave him something more, and now he says that he ishappy andpleased. Is that so ?” The Bedouin replied: “Yes, May Allah grantprosperity to your family.”

 ThenAllah’s Messenger said: “My example and that of this manis like that of a man whose she-camel bas been lost and the people ranafterher to catch her, but the animal was more startled; so that man toldhiscompanions: ‘Leave me and my she-camel alone, I know her ways more and I can bring her to the right  path,’ Accordingly he lifted some grass fromthe ground in his two hands and showed it to the she-camel. it returnedand satnear his feet, He tied the ‘kajawa’ on her back and rode her,”

“If I were to leave you whenhe wasusing foul language, you would have killed him and he would have beensent tohell,”

The kind Prophet was notprovoked in thebeginning from the misbehavior of the bedouin, He understood  his nature and temperament, which was likethat of the  illiterates who arehabituated to wild and foul language, if such people are summarilypunished,then they will  be destroyed and itwould be unjust.

But the great reformers do notallow theerrors of  people reach such a sad end.They try to remove the. ignorance and emotionalism of the people bytheirtolerance and forbearance, so persistently that they have to turn torigorousthings, and they become all praise for them.

The wisest of the wiseintellectual andthe wealthiest man cannot reach his destination, however charitable andgenerous he may be. Of what use is that charity which is meant formakingpeople indebted to the giver?

It is not unlikely that thebedouin whosesatisfaction was bought by giving him money might have become a wealthymanhimself subsequently and he might have performed a great deed by givinghislife willingly. In reality the wealth given by such great reformers ismeantfor such needy people, or in other words such a wealth is like thegrassgrowing on the ground which is lifted in the hands and shown to thestartledshe-camel, and by means of it and by a little display of love theastray mountsare called near so that they may be used for traveling great distances.

The holy Prophet sometimesused to getangry, but he never crossed the limits of decency and the stage ofpardon andforgiveness. How bright is this aspect of his character that he nevertookrevenge for his own person, but he never hesitated in taking revengefrom theman who violated the sanctity of Allah’s laws.

Once when he was distributingthe booty,one rough bedouin insulted him by saying: “Deal with justice,”because in the distribution of this booty only Allah’s pleasure wassought. TheProphet did not say anything more than this: “Fie on you. If I will notdeal justly then who else will? If I did not do like this, then Ifailed, and Isustained a loss.” With these words he gave an answer to his ignoranceandalso stopped his companions from killing the bedouin, which theyotherwisewould have done.

Pardon and Forgiveness

Once at the time of Asr, (Middleprayer) in his speech to the people he said:

“Adam’s sons have been createdofdifferent types. There are some who get angry late and very soon returntonormal. Some people become wrathful soon and soon they return tonormal, andsome people become angry late and are also late in returning to normal,that isthe return to normalcy is according to the speed of getting angry. Becareful.Some people get angry soon and they return to normal late. Listen, thebest  people among these are those whoget angry late and immediately repent, and the worst among these arethose whoget angry soon, but are very late in coming to normal. Listen, amongthesethere are some who repay the loan in a better way, and also demand in agoodway. Some people are lazy in repaying, but good in demanding. Somedemand in abad way and repay in a good way, i.e. they have one good quality andone badquality. Some people prove to be bad in demanding and in repaying too.Listencarefully, the best among these are those who are good in demanding andalsogood in repaying, and the worst are those who are bad in both thethings.

“Keep in mind, anger becomes asparkin the heart of Adam’s son. Do you not see that at the time of anger a man’s eyes become red, andhis , nostrils become enlarged. If anyone sees these signs in a man, heshouldbe glued to the earth.”

(Tirmizi)

That is, he should sit in hisplace, heshould not move so that the mater may not get worsened.

Because the flames of angerand wrathburn all matters. Intelligence and consciousness disappear from It, andman isimprisoned in the magic of passions. Then these affairs do not improve.

The above quoted hodith explainsthe kinds of men and their achievements and value in greatness andmorality.Wherever necessary, a faithful bends himself.

An angry man indulges intovarious kindsof foolishness. Sometimes he abuses the door if it does not openimmediatelyfor him. In his anger he breaks whatever machine or its part may be inhishand, and abuses the animal that is not brought under control.

A man’s sheet was flown awayby the windand he cursed it. Allah’s Messenger said:

 “Donot curse it, because it is bound by the commands of Godand it is under His control. He who curses a thing which did notdeserve itthen the curse returns on him.”

(Tirmizi)

There are many evils of anger,and theirresults are more devastating. It is therefore said that to keep theself incontrol at the time of anger is the proof of the praise-worthy power ofcontroland the noble strength of toleration.

Ibn Masood has narrated thatAllah’sMessenger had asked:

“Whom do you call a sandow “People replied: “One who is not knocked down by anybody is called asandowamong us.” He said: “No, sandow is one who controls his self in hisanger.”

(Muslim)

One man requested the Prophet:

“Give me some but not such alengthyone that I may forget.”

The Prophet said: “Do not beangry.”

(Malik).

What reply could be better andshorterthan this one?

Allah’s Messenger always gaveImportanceto the temperament and the environment of the individuals and groups ingivingthem instructions and training. He  usedto lengthen or shorten his speech according to the demands of theoccasion.

The efforts which were made toremove thejahiliya had two foundations:

One was ignorance againstlearning andthe second against tolerance. The first ignorance he removed with thehelp ofknowledge, understanding, sermons and advice, while the second wasremoved withthe help of suppressing the rebellious desires and preventing mischief,etc.The Arabs of the pre-Islamic days were proud of their ignorance andwickedness.As an Arab Poet of the time says:

“Beware! None should show anyignorance and wickedness before us, else we would prove to be moreignorant andwicked than all”

When Islam came, it removedthisintensity of feeling and emotionalism, and introduced the practice ofpardonand forgiveness in the society. If one could not  pardon,then one was given the command to act justly. Thisobjective could be achieved only when anger and wrath could be keptunder thecontrol of the intellect. There are a number of sayings in which theProphethas given directions to the Arabs leading them to this ideal, so muchso thatthe manifestations of tyranny, aggression, anger and wrath have beendeclaredout of  the circle of Islam. The thingswhich unite a group and do not allow it to be disturbed, abuse, etc.,has beendeclared to be the agent which breaks this unity :-

“Abusing by a Muslim iswickedness,and his quarrelling and fighting is infidelity.”

(Bukhari)

“When two Muslims meet, acurtainfrom Allah is hung between them. When one of the two says obscenethings to theother he tears this curtain of Allah.”

(Baihaqui)

One Arab came to the Prophetto learn theteachings of Islam. Before this he had neither seen the Prophet nor didhe knowabout his message. His name was Jabir bin Salim. He narrates:

“I saw  aman whose opinions are being copied by the people. If he saysanything, people convey it to others. I asked them who this man was. They said that he is Allah’sMessenger.  I said to him: ‘On you bepeace (Alaik-as-Salam) O Messenger of Allah!’ He said: ‘Do not salutelikethis. This is the salute of the dead; but say Peace be on you(As-SalamuAlaik)’.”

That Arab says: “I asked: ‘AreyouAllah’s Messenger?’ He replied: ‘I am the messenger of that Being whomyou callin adversities, and he removes your adversities, and if famine catchesyou andyou call Him. He grows grass for you; and if you lose your mount in thearidground, then you call Him and He causes your mount to be returned toyou.”

He says that I told him:”Adviseme.” The Prophet said: “Do not abuse anybody.” Accordingly,thereafter I did not abuse any free man, slave, camel, goat. Then hesaid: ‘Donot consider any virtue as mean, even if it is your brother’s talkingto youwith a smile. This is also a virtuous act.’ Then he said: ‘If somebodyreproachesyou and makes you feel ashamed on any of your defects, do not make himfeelashamed on any of his defects, because this act of his will provetroublesomefor him.”

(Abu Daud)

Rebuking and Reproaching is a Sign of Meanness

There are also some peoplewhose angerdoes not cool down. They are always in a turmoil, and this wrathfulnessimprints a stamp of stone-heartedness and harshness on their face. Ifanybodyclashes with them they spit fire like an oven. Anger, wrath, squeezingof thenostrils and reddening of the eyes, and then there starts a series ofabusingand cursing. Islam is innocent of all these dirty qualities.

Allah’s Messenger has said:

 “AMomin does not taunt, does not curse and reproach, does notindulge in obscene talking and obscene acts.”

(Tirmizi)

Cursing and reproaching arethe signs ofmeanness, and it is a quality of lowliness. Those who curse others forordinarythings, they put themselves to great ruin. It is the duty of a man thatheshould avoid this unseemly act, even if he is harmed considerably byhisopponent. As faith will be nourished in the heart, along with it willgrowgenerosity, broad-mindedness, tolerance and forbearance, and there willgrowhatred of anger for the usurpers of our rights and dislike for thedesire fortheir destruction.

The Prophet was requested toinvoke God’swrath against the polytheists and to curse them. He said:

“I have been sent as ablessing(Rehmat). I have not been sent as a rebuker and reproacher .”

(Muslim)

A Muslim however much he wouldcontrolhis self, however much he would control his anger, would pardon others’errors,and however much would sympathies with others on their mistakes, in thesameproportion his rank will be raised before Allah.

For this reason, the Prophetdisapprovedof Hazrat Abu Bakr when he cursed his slave, and said:

“How can it be proper for atruthfulman that he should rebuke and reproach.”

(Muslim)

In another tradition it ismentioned thatthe Prophet has said:

“It is not possible that youindulgein rebuking and reproaching and at the same time remain siddique (truthful)and straight.”

(Hakim)

Hazrat Abu Bakr, to atone forhis error,freed his slave and went to the Prophet for apologizing and said thathe wouldnot. do such a thing again.

The reason for this is thatrebuking andreproaching is such an evil as is more expressive of one’s blind ragethan theidea of punishing others. It is not at all proper to insult others byyellingat them.

Allah’s Messenger has said:

“When a man curses somebody,thenthat curse rises up to the sky, but finds the gates of the sky shut.Then itturns to the earth. Here also the gates are found shut. Therefore itwanders tothe right and to the left, and if it does not find a proper place itgoes tothe man who was cursed. If he deserved it, well and good, otherwise itreturnsto the man who cursed.”

(Abu Daud)

Cursing and Abusing is Haram

Islam has declared cursing andabusing,exchange of vulgar and obscene words and acts as haram (forbidden).

Many clashes occur in whichpeople’shonor is attacked and a series of exchange of accusations andfault-findingensues. The reputation of the relatives, and the female folk of thehouseholdis damaged and attempts are made to rake up the dust of centuries.There isonly one cause of all this dirty sinning, and that is man is overcomeby angerand he washes his hands off all decency and good manners.

The entire responsibility forcommittingthis low and mean type of sin goes to the head of the man who first putthespark to the combustible material. It is written in the hadith :

“The entire sin for mutualabusing and cursing  will be on the manwho first started it, except when the oppressed crosses the limit.”

(Muslim)

 Thereis only one way of escaping these intense passions, and thatis that tolerance and forbearance may be allowed to have an upper handoveranger and rage, and pardon and forgiveness may be allowed to rule overthepassion of taking revenge.

There is no doubt that when aman’s ownpersonality or that of his relative or friends is attacked and when heis madeto suffer, and he has the means and resources for taking revenge, thenhe wantsto avenge himself immediately and does not rest till he satisfies hispassionfor revenge.

Hardness be Replied with Softness

But in such cases anotherpolicy can beadopted which is much nobler and is liked by Allah, which shows a man’sgreatness and his regard for relationship and that is that he shouldcontrolhis anger, and should not indulge in abusing and cursing. He shouldrestrainhimself and should not be bent on taking revenge. He should considertheoverlooking of the errors of the wrongdoers as a kind of gratitude toAllah,who has given him such a position that whenever he may want he may takebackhis right.

Ibn Abbas narrates that whenAinia binHasn came, he stayed in the house of his nephew Hur bin Qais, who wasgreatlyrespected by Hazrat Umar, because the readers of the Quran were themembers ofthe Consultative Committee of Hazrat Umar, whether they were old oryoung.

The uncle asked the nephew totake him tothe Amir-ul-Mumineen, Umar bill A1-Khattab. Accordingly permission wassought,and when both of them went in the presence of Umar, he very harshlysaid to theKhalifa :

“ A pity on you, O son ofKhattab ! becauseyou neither give us gifts nor do you deal with us justly.” Hazrat Umarwasenraged on this and wanted to punish him.

The nephew, Hur, immediatelyintervenedand said: “ Amirul Mumineeen ! Allah says to his Prophet: I Adopt themethod ofsoftness and forgiveness, advise for doing righteous deeds and do notclashwith uneducated. This man is uneducated, he may be forgiven.’

Accordingly, the Amir of theFaithfulforgave him and did not deviate slightly from the teachings of thoseverseswhen it were recited before him and  hewas the true follower of the Book of Allah.”

 (Bukhari)

Hazrat Umar was enragedbecause that Arabhad come merely to provoke him. The idea of punishing him came to hismindbecause he bad not gone there with the intention of giving right adviceorreform. The only purpose of his going there was to rebuke the AmirulMumineenand to receive rich gifts without working for them. But when he wastold thatthe man was uneducated, be controlled his anger and allowed him to gofree.

It is written in a hadith :

“He who controls his angerthough hehad the power to act on it, Allah will call him first of all on the DayofJudgment and will give him the authority to select whatever Hourie helikes.”

(Abu Daud)

Ibada bin Samit says that theProphet hassaid:

“May I not tell you thosequalitiesfor which Allah will give you tall buildings in the Paradise and He mayraiseyour rank ?” The people said: “Certainly, tell us O Messenger ofAllah !” He said: “He who behaves with you in the manner of anuneducated person, you behave with him with tolerance, forgive theoppressors,and give to those who deprive you, and he who cuts away from you, tryto joinhim. ”

(Tibrani)

Quran has declared thesedecent habitsand qualities as the path of welfare by which a man can enter theParadise.

“Be quick in the race forforgiveness from your  Lord, and for aParadise whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of theearth,prepared for the righteous,-those who spend (freely) whether inprosperity orin adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men ;for Allah lovesthosewho do good.”

(AI-i-Imran.. 133-134)

The Excellent Example

The way in which the ProphetignoredAbdullah bin Ubai, the leniency which he showed him, and the manner inwhich heoverlooked his crimes, are instances whose example cannot be found intheentire human history. Abdullah bin Ubai was the worst enemy of theMuslims. Heused to be always in search for finding out ways of inflicting injuriesanddamages to Muslims and he was in league with the devil against theMuslims. Henever let slip any opportunity of harming Muslims, of defeating themandspreading a network of conspiracies against them. He cast aspersions onthechastity of the Mother of the Faithful, Hazrat Ayesha, and he incitedsomepeople to indulge in the whispering campaign against her and thusweaken thefoundation of the Islamic society, as from the ancient times theeasterntraditions had given a very high position of decency and nobility towomen.

For this reason the Messengerof Allahand his dear companions were terribly distressed and were in greatmentalanguish. They were in a great dilemma on account of this blatant falseaccusation, till at last the verses of Surah Noor were revealed whichrefutedthe charges of the hypocrites, vouchsafed the chastity and purity ofHazratAyesha and exposed the machinations of the enemies:

“Those who brought forward thelieare a body among yourselves ,. think it not to be anevil to you “on the contrary it is good for you.. to every man among them (will/come thepunishment) of the sin that he earned and to him who took on himselfthe leadamong them, will be penalty grievous.”

(Hoor.. 11)

In this tragedy, those who hadopenlyaccused the Ummul Mumineen were punished, but the germ which bad spreadthisdisease was not touched, so that he might further go on with hisnefariousactivities of harming Muslims.

Allah blesses His Prophet andhis armieswith victory and glory. Islam refined the disorderly government of thecenturies and reformed the corrupt society. The enemies of Islam werethenfound within the limits of the Islamic society, Abdullah bin Ubai waspiningwithin himself till he fell ill and died, after leaving the bad anddeadlyodour of disruption behind him. His sons went to Prophet seeking hispardon fortheir father. He forgave him. Then the son requested for the Prophet’sshirtfor the shroud of his father. He gave it to them. Then they requestedhim tolead his funeral prayer and to pray for their father. The graciousProphet didnot refuse even this request of theirs. He stood up to pray for thesalvationof the person who in the past had attacked his honor and reputation.

But Allah denied to grant alltheseconcessions, and this verse was revealed:

“Whether you ask for theirforgiveness or not, (their sin is unforgivable).. if you ask seventytimes fortheir forgiveness, Allah will not forgive them.. because they haverejectedAllah and His Prophet.. and Allah guides not those who are perverselyrebellious.”

(Tauba.. 80)

 In this tragicevent of falseaccusation was also involved a near relative of Hazrat Abu Bakr, whowas livingon his help, This man did not hesitate to falsely accuse the pure andchastelady, whose father was giving him help and was sustaining him. Heforgot theright of Islam, and did not care for the relationship, and tore topieces theold custom, Hazrat Abu Bakr was deeply stirred and he swore that hewould notgive anything to this near relative of his and would not show anykindness tohim as in the past. Thereupon the following command from Allah wasrevealed:

“Let not those among you whoareendued with grace and amplitude of means resolve by oath againsthelping theirkinsmen, those in want, and those who have left their homes in Allah’scause;let them forgive and overlook; do you not wish that Allah shouldForgive you?For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

(Noor: 22)

Accordingly, Abu Bakrrestarted helpinghis relative saying: “I like that Allah may pardon me,”